This post is part of my “Becoming a SAHM” series, based on my real-life journey to becoming a Stay at Home Mom. Thank you for joining me on this journey!
Ah. Stay at home Moms. It’s (unfortunately) an often heated topic of debate. I don’t believe it should be. I think it’s a wonderful thing but each and every Mom – and family – needs to make that decision for herself and for her individual family.
My decision came early. Even before I had children, even before college, even before I was married, even before I was pregnant, I knew I wanted to be a SAHM someday. I credit this desire in large part to my Mom who stayed at home with all four of her children. I saw firsthand what a good thing it was for our family. Early on, I didn’t realize how special it was or what a blessing it was. This was just the way our life was. It was the way my parents chose to raise us. Dad continued serving (working) as a Pastor and Mom stayed home. Sure, Mom played the organ on Sundays and directed choirs and subbed on occasion. She kept busy and supplemented our family income with various jobs but her primary one was to stay home. Since I grew up this way, I knew from early on that I wanted my someday children to have that same comfort and confidence that comes from having their Mom at home.
My husband and I discussed this topic while we were still dating. Like me, Andy grew up with a Mom who stayed home. Like me, he realized what a wonderful opportunity this was for him and his siblings. Like me, Andy wanted our children to have that same upbringing. It was so wonderful to know that we were on the same page from the beginning! I pray that your husband is as supportive of your desire as mine. If he is not, pray about it – and discuss your desires with him. This is an important decision that you need to make together.
Now, please understand this. I know there are many Moms who chose not to stay at home. Some of them are the primary breadwinners while Dad stays home. Some want to continue advance in their careers. Some are in the midst of schooling. Some are single Moms who have work. Some feel it’s not financially feasible. (We’ll talk more about that feasibility of staying home on limited finances in the future part of this series.) I believe being a SAHM is a choice and it is a choice that I am glad I made.
Know this. It’s not easy. I’m only 4 months into this new life as a SAHM and as much as I wanted this, I am daily learning how challenging this job can be. I am the one who wakes up in the night with our son and I am the one who puts him down for naps. I am the one who reads the same story countless times a day. I am the one who cooks with one hand while holding the baby with the other. I am learning to run a household at the same time as caring for a baby. I am the one who loves our relaxed mornings but still longs for adult conversation at moments throughout the day. It is indeed difficult to be a Mom (whether you stay at home or not), but this decision of mine to be a SAHM was still a good one.
Maybe you are not sure if you are ready to be a SAHM. Maybe you don’t know if you can handle the day in and day out monotony. Maybe you are not sure you can financially make this choice. Maybe you don’t know if can and will be the Mom you want to be while staying at home. All these are valid concerns but it all starts with a choice. Make the decision to be a SAHM. It’s a wonderful decision to make and I think you’ll be glad you did!
Tell us. When did you make the decision to be a SAHM? Was it a difficult or easy decision for you?